I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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