I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
