remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
