Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
