The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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