No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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