I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
