is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
