Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize