so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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