how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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