I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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