In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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