My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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