I seem to have left my pride at pride
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
