Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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