It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
