dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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