Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
