Non-Jews are for practice
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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