I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
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Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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