Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
