I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
