her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
