did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
