I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize