Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
