I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
