Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
