why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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