what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
