I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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