every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
