I hate your face
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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