i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
