You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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