i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
