you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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