Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
