I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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