I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
