No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
