My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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