we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
