I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So here I am, sexting at work.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
