i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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