this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think i have herpe
just one?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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