he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
