I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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