Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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