why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
