and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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