Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
