How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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