Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
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She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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