Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
