i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
