right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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