He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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