I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
