so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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