I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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