I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
