i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
