You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
